Who could that be at this hour?

It's supposed to be sort of autobiographical with a mix of mystery fiction, but gross!!! I didn't get it - it made zero sense. I gave it an hour & took it back to the library. All in all, I say: SKIP IT

Dancing with the Duke

Another free, trashy novel from Kindle. I read it in under an hour - it was short. It is told from the man and woman's point of view. She has had a crush on him since she was a girl - her best friend's brother. He has been annoyed with her, but it smitten when he sees her all grown up. They fall in love - I wouldn't read this cheese if there wasn't a happy ending. It's a quick read & relaxing when you're trying to get to sleep. All in all, I say: READ IT - if you want some quick trash otherwise SKIP IT

Lover at Last (Black Dagger Brotherhood)

As always there are 1,000 plots going on at once. And... as always I am only interested in one, so it took no time at all to get through this 80 something chapter book. This was the last one in the series until recently - a new one is coming out soon - it probably won't be any better. I don't get it - I just don't know why most series books start out so good & then get more and more ridiculous. All in all, I say: SKIP IT - even if you've read the entire series - It's just painful.

Tangled Beauty

Trashy novel alert! Kindle has some great trashy novels for free. This one is about a hairdresser that pretends to be dating a friend who is gay for his family weekend. She falls for his straight brother. There was also briefly a serial killer/rapist guy that had a couple of chapters; he kidnaps the main character, but I don't know why. I mean I don't know why his stuff was in the book - it sort of ruined the unity & coherence of the book. It was very, very short and an easy read. Want a free trashy novel: All in all, I say: READ IT - otherwise go sit in a corner and read War & Peace.

The World's End

Five friends attempted to visit every pub in the town where they graduated from school. It is the 20 years anniversary and the leader (Pegg from Shaun of the Dead & Hot Fuzz)- who is an alcoholic and hasn't amounted to anything - get them all back together to attempt the pub crawl again. Frost (Shaun of the Dead & Hot Fuzz), Freeman (Sherlock), Considine (Hot Fuzz), and Marsan (The Illusionist) are the friends. Pike (Die Another Day) is the sister of one of them who is also in town. Brosnan (Die Another Day) is a teacher from their past. So, what's the point you might be saying - it is Pegg after all? Well, this time it's robots from outer space who are killing people and replacing them with identical robots. It's not as funny or as good as his other films. All in all, I say: SKIP IT

Saving Mr. Banks

This is the true story of what Walt Disney (Hanks from Cloud Atlas) had to go through to convince P.L. Travers (Thompson from Sense & Sensibility) to allow him to make a movie of her character Mary Poppins. Farrell (Phone Booth) is Goff aka Banks aka Travers' father in real life. She took his first name as her last name. Giamatti (The Illusionist) is Mrs. Travers' driver while she is in California.Whitford (West Wing) plays on man on a three man team working with Mrs. Travers' to get the movie script approved. The other two are Novak (The Office) and Schwartzman (Rushmore). And last but not least Mary Poppins - in real life - is played by Griffiths (Six Feet Under). All in all, I say: SEE IT or wait and RENT IT - it was really good. There are pictures and an actually recording at the end, so stay for the credits.

The Secret Life of Walter Mitty

Based on the short story with a modern upgrade. Walter works for Life magazine - they are having their last issue and he can't find the cover photo. Instead of day dreaming, Mitty takes off in search of the photographer. It takes him to Greenland, Iceland, and Afghanistan. Mitty is played by Stiller (Zoolander) who is also the director. Wiig (Bridesmaids) is his love interest. Scott (Parks & Recreation) is Mitty's boss during the buy out and final issues. Penn (I Am Sam) is the photographer. The special effects are great. MacLaine (Being There) makes an appearance as Mitty's mother. All in all, I say: SEE IT - very, very well done. In all areas!

Worst Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Weird Junior Edition

Would you know how to survive an alien abduction? This book includes chapters on surviving a mars landing and mummies. This book is just for fun - it is funny. It's a quick read. All in all, I say: BUY IT if you have kids with vivid imaginations.

Destined (Book 4 of Vampire Journals)

SO, she has time traveled to ancient Rome - the author writes a lot of unnecessary details and things that have nothing to do with the plot. Several others are there that shouldn't be - there are serious continuity issues in this one. I tried to look up biographically information on the author, and I am now convinced that this series is written by a variety of ghost writers. All in all, I say: SKIP IT - hopefully you stopped the series in book two.

Betrayed (#3 in Vampire Journals)

Caitlin is now a vampire and her love Caleb leaves her on an island as he goes off to fight. She on the island for like 2 seconds and then Caleb gets captured. She goes to save him with super strength - now that she's pregnant - and kills him. In her sadness she sends them both back in time - yup vampires can time travel. This book starts to really lose me at the end. She starts to fall in love with someone else, so much for true love. All in all, I say: SKIP IT

The Worst Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Junior Edition

Know any good excuses for forgetting your homework? This book has chapters on how to survive in the woods, how to deal with things that sting, and how to survive outdoor chores. This is a more practical survival books for young adults. There are fun pictures and it's written in short, humorous paragraphs. All in all, I say: BUY IT if you have kids, so they can learn how to survive the simple things.

Worst Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Extreme Junior Edition

Know how to make a compass or signal for help? This book has chapters on how to survive in a desert, rainforest, and the arctic for a few. Written in short paragraphs with funny pictures, it's perfect for young adults. All in all, I say: BUY IT if you have kids, so they have it as a resource.

Kick-Ass 2

Taylor-Johnson (Savages) is Kick-Ass. He is in training to become a better superhero in this sequel. Moretz (Hugo) is Hit-Girl who is trying to be a normal high school student, but is failing miserably. Chestnut (The Call) is the cop who adopts Moretz. Faison (Scrubs) plays a superhero that was influenced by Kick-Ass. Mintz-Plasse (Superbad) is back as the bad guy. As with the last movie most of the violence is disturbing. The martial arts in this is quit impressive though. All in all, I say: SEE IT - only if you saw the 1st otherwise - SKIP IT.

Taylor-Johnson makes this a two shirter!

The Testing Guide

A short story from the point of view of Zeen - it's about a guide he finds in his teacher's desk. It looks into why he runs off when he finds out his sister is picked for testing. All in all, I say: READ IT - especially if you read the book The Testing.

Dress Your Marines in White

Brayden in Monument 14 mentioned more than a couple of times that his dad work for the government. His dad was on the team that created the toxin that was released after the earthquake. This short story tells how and why the toxin came about. All in all, I say: READ IT - especially if you read Monument 14.

Jake and the Other Girl

Jake from the book Monument 14 leaves the group when he is out exploring. This short story explains some of what happened to him. He makes his way to a girl's house - a girl he use to hook up with. She is holed up in her basement with her dad locked up in the laundry room - he has the aggressive strain. Jake offers to take her with him - he isn't really sure where he's going. All in all, I say: READ IT if you read Monument 14.

Ain't Them Bodies Saints

Netflix writes, "After escaping prison, Bob Muldoon begins a search for his girlfriend and young daughter, but their reunion doesn't go as planned: He took the rap for a crime she committed, but now she's involved with a lawman from their past." Mara (The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo) is the girlfriend, Foster (The Messenger) is the cop she shot and later falls for, and Affleck (To Die For) is the boyfriend that escapes. It doesn't really go well for anyone. All in all, I say: SKIP IT - I was bored to death & not even Foster could convince me not to fast forward.

Death Comes to Pemberley

A murder mystery set in Jane Austin's time with her characters from Pride & Prejudice. I couldn't do it - I read section one and found myself drooling from boredom. All in all, I say: SKIP IT

The Testing

Amazon describes the plot as, "It’s graduation day for sixteen-year-old Malencia Vale, and the entire Five Lakes Colony (the former Great Lakes) is celebrating. All Cia can think about—hope for—is whether she’ll be chosen for The Testing, a United Commonwealth program that selects the best and brightest new graduates to become possible leaders of the slowly revitalizing post-war civilization. When Cia is chosen, her father finally tells her about his own nightmarish half-memories of The Testing. Armed with his dire warnings (”Cia, trust no one”), she bravely heads off to Tosu City, far away from friends and family, perhaps forever. Danger, romance—and sheer terror—await." It is eerily similar to a dozen other young adult novels I have read recently, but I'm still hooked and want to read the next one in the series. All in all, I say: READ IT

Elysium

Elysium refers to the Greek afterlife. Entrance was initially reserved for mortals related to the gods and other heroes. Later, it expanded to include those chosen by the gods, the righteous, and the heroic, where they would remain after death, to live a blessed and happy life, and indulging in whatever employment they had enjoyed in life. It was also known as The Isles of the Blessed which was a single island that had shady parks. “…where life is easiest for men. No snow is there, nor heavy storm, nor ever rain, but ever does Ocean send up blasts of the shrill-blowing West Wind that they may give cooling to men” (Homer). “The good receive a life free from toil, not scraping with the strength of their arms the earth, nor the water of the sea, for the sake of a poor sustenance. But in the presence of the honored gods, those who gladly kept their oaths enjoy a life without tears, while the others undergo a toil that is unbearable to look at. Those who have persevered three times, on either side, to keep their souls free from all wrongdoing…” (Pindar). In a recent comic book, Elysium is where the Saints (warriors) traverse the Underworld to defeat its ruler, the ruthless Hades and rescue their kidnapped goddess. The Saints discover that the only way to kill Hades is to destroy his true body. The Saints then invade Elysium and carry on their mission after a difficult battle with the deity.

Blomkamp (District 9) wrote and directed this film which takes place in 2154. Citizens or people who are wealthy enough to live on Elysium are free from work, disease, and hunger. While the people on Earth, not citizens, labor in dangerous conditions. Damon (Good Will Hunting) is trying to turn his criminal life around when he is exposed to radiation at work. He has 5 days to live, so he takes a dangerous assignment – to download all the information from Fichtner’s (Grace Under Fire) brain into his own brain. This information will cause the computers that run Elysium to shut down and reboot with new mandates – to heal all Earth. Foster (Panic Room) is the woman in charge of the defense of Elysium, Copley (District 9) is her agent, and Luna (Milk) is on Damon’s side.

All in all, I say: RENT IT – if you like the metaphor. I warn you the camera work is horrible – they do close-ups during fight scenes which makes them blurring and annoying. 

Frozen

IMDb writes, "Fearless optimist Anna teams up with Kristoff in an epic journey, encountering Everest-like conditions, and a hilarious snowman named Olaf in a race to find Anna's sister Elsa, whose icy powers have trapped the kingdom in eternal winter." Bell (Veronica Mars) does the voice for Anna - and singing. Menzel (Glee) does the voice for Elsa. Gad (Jobs) does the voice of Olaf - he isn't too over the top. Tudyk (Firefly) does the voice for a greedy Duke. Hinds (Persuasion) does the voice of grandpa troll. The songs are not too long, not too boring, and not too distracting. It was a clever story - slightly unpredictable in the end, but sort of predictable. Clever lyrics and writing. Excellent animation. All in all, I say: SEE IT - and from someone that doesn't really like musicals and doesn't own many disney movies that's saying a lot.

I Give it a Year

Australian Byrne (Bridesmaids) falls in love with Brit Spall (Life of Pi). They get married too soon and discover they aren't really in love - they were in love with the idea of love. Spall falls for Faris (What's Your Number) and Byrne falls for Australian Baker (The Mentalist). They also get help from friends to realize their mistake: Brit Driver (Circle of Friends) and Brit Flemyng (Snatch). The humor is horrible - not funny. All in all, I say: SKIP IT even the actors can't save this screenplay.

The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones

IMDb writes, "When her mother disappears, Clary Fray learns that she descends from a line of warriors who protect our world from demons. She joins forces with others like her and heads into a dangerous alternate New York called Downworld." It is so much more complicated than that though. I found it a little too complicated. The editing was horrible; the ending in particular is random and makes little sense. I'm sure they must have left out a lot from the book. There is a sequel planned - not sure about that. Most of the cast appears to be English/Irish. Bower (Camelot), Headey (300), and Meyer (Match Point) appear in the film - they didn't save it though. All in all, I say: SKIP IT and I think I might just read the books.

The Family

Luc Besson (Taken 2) wrote and directed this movie about a former mafia family that is now in witness protection. DeNiro (Raging Bull) is the head of the family that is now in Normandy. He decides to write down his memoir which is making the FBI team leader, Jones (No Country for Old Men) nervous. There is comedy throughout, but the showdown at the end is serious. Pfeiffer (Batman Returns) is the mother. Agron (I Am Number Four) is the daughter. Lombardozzi (The Wire) is one of the FBI agents watching the family. All in all, I say: RENT IT - it's clever.

Liar & Spy

Georges moves into an apartment once his father loses his job. His mother works double shifts as a nurse to help make ends meet. Georges comes across an interesting flyer - SPY CLUB - he decides to check it out and meets Safer and his family. Safer will get Georges mixed up in a caper to spy on a neighbor - the mysterious Mr. X. Will meet Safer also help improve his situation at school - bullied all the time. All in all, I say: READ IT.

Welcome to the Punch

McAvoy (Wanted) is a cop who is shot by a criminal played by Strong (Sherlock Holmes). Morrissey (Walking Dead) is the police commissioner. Mullan (War Horse) is an old criminal pal of Strong's character. Three years later the 2 - cop & criminal - come face to face again over a conspiracy. This time they are on the same side. All in all, I say: although they are both sexy as hell - SKIP IT

The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug

Part II: They continue their trek. The fight scenes are fantastic and the elves appear (Yea!!!!). The dragon is really good - special effects wise - voice wise (Cumberbatch!). All in all, I say: SEE IT - in 3D ASAP!

Monument 14

A hailstorm forces 2 busses of kids to seek refuge in a superstore. They get trapped inside which is for the best once they find out a volcano, an earthquake, hail, and a tsunami hit the US. Now the country is in chaos but this group of kids is safe and taken care of. When they discover that their parents have fled to Denver will they go to or stay where they are taken care of? All I say: READ IT

Hammer of the Gods

One of four sons to a Viking King is sent on a mission. His dying father tells him that of all his sons his eldest is the only one powerful enough to rule the Viking. As it turns out the Prince becomes more wise and more strong on his journey to find his eldest brother. He returns to his proud father to rule his people. Standen (The Vikings) appears briefly. Bewley (The Vampire Diaries) is the Prince - he does a good job with the sword play in this. All in all, I say: SKIP IT - it was ok, but nothing exciting.

Moon Over Manifest

Abilene who was once riding the rails with her father is dropped off with Shady in the town of Manifest. Abilene is given a box with trinkets and letters from her father as he sets out alone and she spends the summer in a town she isn't quite sure about. A woman the town claims to be a gypsy has Abilene doing odds and ends for her because Abilene accidently knocked over a valuable ceramic. Every time Abilene visits she hears a story - a story about a boy named Jinx and how he came to be apart of Manifest and its past. It is done beautifully, and the ending will probably surprise you - there are three mysteries to be solved. All in all, I say: READ IT - even if it is a young adult novel - it is a wonderfully written tale.

The Iceman

Based on the true story of a mafia hitman from the 70s. Shannon (Man of Steel) does a really good bad guy. Evans (Fantastic Four) is also a contract killer, and Ryder (Mermaids) plays his wife. All in all, I say: SKIP IT. I got bored toward the second half. It becomes on of these things where the main character can't trust anybody and they start to make really bad decisions.

The Last Keepers

Madsen (Candyman), Mamet (Girls), and Dukakis (Moonstruck) are three generations of witches. Quinn (Elementary) plays Mamet's father. It's strange; it's about a prophecy. All in all, I say: SKIP IT